we don't own a ferret

as you can imagine we get lots of critters and bird sightings out at the farm.  this year i have seen deer, hawks, coyotes, turkeys, raccoons, turkey vultures, cardinals, blue jays, a feral dog, and mike swears he saw a beaver.  oh, and an opossum in my trash can. in my house. twice.
one lovely evening at home, after hendrix had been put to bed, mike and i were enjoying a bowl of popcorn. mike was also enjoying a couple of beers.  these beers would prove to be a good choice in just a short while.  as beer almost always does.
i got up to throw the unpopped kernels away and to grab something to drink.  we keep our trash can under the sink.  you know, to keep the house critters (i.e. the dogs and cats) out of the trash.  when i opened the cupboard door i noticed 2 red eyes staring back at me...as the body, the eyes were attached to, froze in motion. in the brief seconds that followed my whacked head was able to process the following...

why is the ferret in the trash can?
why did we get a ferret? i don't like ferrets. (my friend ashley had one when were growing up.  it used to run around and nip my heels.)
wait, we don't own a ferret.
oh, shit. that is not a ferret.
that is a possum (i see possum spelled this way in my head when i say it or think it because that is how it should be spelled, dammit).
shut the door, annie.

then i calmly (really, i did) told mike that there was an opossum in the trash can.  mike calmly (i know everyone can believe this, at least) got up, walked to the cupboard, pulled the can out, walked outside, and took care of business.  apparently, if you don't take care of business opossums &/or raccoons will keep coming back to the site of the food.  my uncle ed confirmed this for me because i was sure that mike was a baby opossum murderer. 
the second time this happened mike was dead sober and told me that it was terrible taking care of business.  also, the opossum was not a baby and was scrappy.  so i am sure that did not help. we needed to figure out the point of entry and remedy. our house was built in 1896 and has foundation problems.  so the point of entry could be anywhere. except this time it was easy...pretty sure it was the ginormous hole in the floor under the sink.  so i did what any country chick would do...i got the power drill and drilled some board into the floor, painted it a lovely chartreuse, added an awesome, black & white, baroque print wallpaper along the bottom, and organized the crap out of that cupboard.  i am happy to report we have been opossum free for 3 months. 
i used to care if animals were killed in the radius of my home. until, filthy opossums were getting into my trash can or deer were eating 20 rows of our field corn. now i am really into eating sustainable vension.