Friday, March 11, 2011

an open (love) letter to my son on his second birthday

dear hendrix,

you are two today!  can you believe it? for the record, i cannot.  you, your father, and i have had quite the journey together.  hendrix you are exactly how i imagined you to be and so much more.  i remember telling the nurse when you were born, that you looked exactly as i had dreamed.  i knew you and loved you before i ever met you.  here's a note i wrote to you the day we brought you home from the hospital:

The Day You Were Born. . .
Began long before Wednesday, March 11th 2009, 9:48 P.M.. On Tuesday, March 10that 2:30 P.M. Aunt Theresa and I went to the doctor to have an ultrasound, I had been placed on bed rest the week prior for preeclampsia and they were monitoring my blood pressure and more importantly, you. The ultrasound went great, but my blood pressure continued to be high. So at 4:30 Dr. Tierney sent me across the hall to Labor & Delivery to begin the process of inducing labor. When I called your dad to tell him what was going on and to ask him to pick up my things from home on his way to the hospital he asked me, “Now?” – He was slightly in shock. The doctors began giving me medicine to start the process and continued to do so until 3 AM the next morning . . . not much was happening, but then contractions started. At 3 P.M. my water broke. You, however, were not responding to the Pitocin very well and my body was not progressing very quickly. Aunt Theresa and your dad were there the whole time. The feelings went from elation to exhaustion to anxiety to anticipation and back again. At 9:15 your father and I agreed with the doctors that a C-Section was the best and safest way to bring you into the world. I won’t lie. . .I was scared out of my mind . . .I had never had surgery, stitches, a broken bone, or stayed in the hospital for any length of time. The doctors and nurses were so wonderful and at 9:48 you were born. I saw what falling in love at first sight looks like when your father looked over the blue screen and saw you being taken out. All he kept saying was how beautiful you were. . .”Oh, sweetie, he’s so beautiful. He’s so beautiful.” Aunt Theresa and your father then spent the next hour watching the nurses work on you and clean you up while I got stitched up and recovered. I met you about an hour and half after you were born . . . my biggest disappointment in life is that I was not able to see you and hold you immediately. Hendrix, you are my greatest accomplishment ever and my greatest love. You have made me a better person and I hope to make you proud some day. I love you so very much.

every time i read this, it brings back the emotion and tears of joy.  i cannot wait to see all of things you accomplish this year.  you have done so much this past year. . .it is absolutely mind blowing. you learned how to walk, speak in sentences, your abc's & numbers, how to yell at the dogs, to eat with a fork, to give the best kisses and hugs a mom could ask for, to color & paint, brush your teeth, unbuckle yourself out of your car seat, say mom & dad, tell me "bye" without crying, and so much more.  this upcoming year is going to be so great for you, buddy.  you're going to make new friends, learn even more words, ride a big wheel, and watch your parents get married. 
you are our greatest joy.  our proudest accomplishment to date.  your father is constantly amazed by you and completely enamored.  all the joy in our house stems from you, my dear boy.  you are goofy, independent, curious, loving, dramatic, intelligent, and the life of any party. 
i've been pretty sad and stressed out this week about you turning two this week.  it makes me sad to see you grow up because one day sooner than i like, i know you'll leave our house and make our own great life.  and i want that for you.  but i want my baby to always be baby.  the baby that says "cuddle" when he wants to cuddle.  the baby that yells "mom" 20 times until i look . . .all to see you pointing at a candle.  delivering a signature hendrix psa, "hot. candle hot!".  i hope that your father and i always make it known to you that you are the most precious thing we have.  i hope that you always know how much we want for you and that we will go to the ends of the earth to provide for you.  you are my heart, baby boy.  you always will be.

happy cake, hendrix!
your mom

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